Wednesday, May 09, 2007

"seven things" tag

I must be a real blogger now—I’ve been tagged by Jenn to write seven things no one knows about me. Seven things no one knows about me? But you don’t understand! I tell everyone everything!! It's blog tag. And I'm IT. Okay, little known facts about me…

1. I hold a varsity letter in gymnastics. (Those of you who know me as a forty-five year old not-small woman, this is not a moment for humor.)

While I am a natural in the area of balance, I am not a natural athlete and I worked very, very hard to learn the rudiments of my one event, the balance beam. Coach Ayers must’ve spent twenty hours with me lying on my back on that 4-inch beam, my thumbs grasping the wood under my neck, before I managed my first backward roll without toppling off to the side. I was a graceful-enough kid, but every single move on that beam came about through endless encouragement and multiple bruisings. So let’s see—just pull your knees over your head and grasp the balance beam with your… shins. Once I got it, though, I was like a trick pony—I could do it again and again.

I received a blue ribbon in a competition when every athlete fell off the beam, in succession. The last in the competition, I grinned like a madwoman for my entire performance, knowing that what I lacked in smooth and natural movement, I could stay on the beam every time. The blue ribbon lead to the varsity letter, my sophomore year. Compulsory routines became much more challenging (i.e. impossible for most mortals, even teenage girl mortals) and I decided I’d prefer theater productions.

2. I can’t swim.
I’ve taken a college course on swimming (and I passed with an A) and have taken numerous swimming classes. I dog paddle. I float. So I don’t drown. But I don’t swim, either. I am an imminently capable person who has tried a hundred times, and still I cannot get from point A to point B if there is neck-deep water in-between.

I have been cliff diving, once, with three lifeguards. I “made” my dorm staff do trust falls, so they “made” me dive. It was great and I will never do it again.

3. No matter how much sun I get, I’m still paler than you.

4. I keep fortune cookie fortunes. They live in a jar on the windowsill. I hurl almost every other collectible, with this useless and delightful exception.

5. The only time I’ve stayed in a hospital was when I was giving birth to Brendan, and I nearly kidnapped him and ran home, I disliked the hospital stay so much. (Birth was easy, but nurses were relentless.) Oddly enough, the food was absolutely delicious and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

6. I once tap-danced on rollerskates for a comic routine in a talent show. I skated onstage during the second verse of a folk-singer earnestly singing a love song by Anne Murray. It was really, really hideous, the kind of thing a person can only pull off once.

People where I live already think me very strange, so I don’t report this experience often. Can I just tell you, though? People laughed their heads off, and were unable to breathe when discussing it later. I was such a tremendously serious teenager—and as sincere as an Anne Murray love song. So it was good irony.

7. There is a letter addressed to me at the summit of Mt. Blanc, from my friend Roger who swears I saved his life by being his pretend-girlfriend, so another girl would get off his back. I had a similar situation on my hands, a guy trying to win my love by building furniture for me (nice furniture, too bad), so it was a mutually beneficial non-dating experience. The letter is sealed in a waterproof bag, and nothing biodegrades at high altitudes, so it will likely outlive me.

If you are hiking the Sangre de Cristo Range, let me know and I’ll ask Roger for the treasure map. Until then, I’m immortalized in Ziploc.

In this game, I tag seven other blogging people and tell them to name seven things. I worked hard to find this list!

Linda is a new blogger, a writer and avid reader near my hometown. We’ve been to the same dirt roads and ice cream drive-ins. AND SHE KNOWS MY FRESHMAN ENGLISH PROFESSOR-- who is one of the most amazing people on earth.

Lara has probably played this kind of tag a million times—she’s an amazing woman who’s been some of the same places I’ve been, in a small college in Pennsylvania, and an RD.

Byron has already played tag awhile back, I believe and his blog is far more important than tag games, but I’m desperate.

Because I can't imagine Byron's writing is free for a day, I'm tagging Pete, who needs to tell me what autumn is like in South Africa. See his April 30, "in the middle of the night," beautiful.

Kami is a free, freelance writer, former campus ministry person, soon to be former Starbucks employee, and is heading on a tour of Africa for the known future, but maybe she’ll play.

Iris, refashionista and the placid dutchman blog about knitting. Knitting! Whole blogs, mostly about knitting, with bits of life knit in! I knit, but it's not anything to write home about.

Blog-writing friends, remember IT'S ALL MATERIAL. It's all a writing prompt. Enjoy.


Suzanne said...

Thanks for the tag! Just fyi, the url to my website is broken...I think it might just have an extra url in there or something. I'm going to try to answer this tonight!

Denise said...

I think I fixed it! My apologies.